Archive for 2010|Yearly archive page

The robots Futurama knew we would need

In Uncategorized on June 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Futurama returns this week! This may be one of the few instances we see the internet slow down – commenters may cease all together as everybody gathers around to hear the good news (productivity of actual people are not forecasted to change). And why shouldn’t we be excited? Futurama offered us a vision of tomorrow that was bright and shiny and full of cynical promise. It was like a George Orwell book without the oppressive political subtext. Of course, like Orwell, it could bum us out:


Of course, any proper “World of Tomorrow” requires robots – many, many robots. And Futurama had problems that only the most specialized robots could fix. Thus, this list honors the problems of the future, and the fine solutions Mom’s Friendly Robot Corporation could provide:

Hedonism Bot

Problem of the Future: Horrible grape overproduction threatens agriculture and wine industries. Dangerously low levels of cavorting.

Lucy Liu Bot

Problem of the Future: Geeks horny as ever.


Problem of the Future: Roberto explains that he was created by scientists aiming to build an insane robot. By this, we can only assume that Psychology grad students still have a “moral and ethical distaste for human experimentation.” Buncha wimps. But if this robot to experiment on is enough to shut them up, then everyone is happy. Also useful for stabbin’.


Problem of the Future: Humans still haven’t gotten over debilitating love of soap operas.


Arizona Official has watched too many Simpsons epidodes

In Politics on May 19, 2010 at 8:58 pm

In the latest bit of proof that Arizona has out-crazyed every other state of the union (We wish to extend our sympathies to Texas, who were one more secession threat away from clinching the title), Arizona Corporation Commissioner Gary Pierce has threatened the city of Los Angeles, saying that if the city council goes ahead and approved the  boycott of Arizona over their new immigration laws, he will envelop them into a world of pure darkness!

Because Arizona companies provide LA with 25% of their electricity, the Commissioner has threatened to speak with these companies about cutting off the entire city (and likely a healthy chunk of their profits). We assume this will lead the city of LA to reconsider — how are they supposed to destroy the morals of our children without precious electricity?

But really, this is only notable because it was so clearly ripped off from Mr. Burns.


That fiend!