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The robots Futurama knew we would need

In Uncategorized on June 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Futurama returns this week! This may be one of the few instances we see the internet slow down – commenters may cease all together as everybody gathers around to hear the good news (productivity of actual people are not forecasted to change). And why shouldn’t we be excited? Futurama offered us a vision of tomorrow that was bright and shiny and full of cynical promise. It was like a George Orwell book without the oppressive political subtext. Of course, like Orwell, it could bum us out:

THE INTERNET DARES YOU TO LOOK AT THIS WITH DRY EYES!

Of course, any proper “World of Tomorrow” requires robots – many, many robots. And Futurama had problems that only the most specialized robots could fix. Thus, this list honors the problems of the future, and the fine solutions Mom’s Friendly Robot Corporation could provide:

Hedonism Bot

Problem of the Future: Horrible grape overproduction threatens agriculture and wine industries. Dangerously low levels of cavorting.

Lucy Liu Bot


Problem of the Future: Geeks horny as ever.

Roberto


Problem of the Future: Roberto explains that he was created by scientists aiming to build an insane robot. By this, we can only assume that Psychology grad students still have a “moral and ethical distaste for human experimentation.” Buncha wimps. But if this robot to experiment on is enough to shut them up, then everyone is happy. Also useful for stabbin’.

Calculon


Problem of the Future: Humans still haven’t gotten over debilitating love of soap operas.